Friday, October 9, 2009

Coffee Time

So I got a download today.

Trying to pinpoint the reason behind my current frustration, I thought of Jesus Culture and the short time after that. I remembered how my very existence, the reason I got up everyday, was to see what Jesus was going to do next! I wanted to spend as much time with Jesus as possible and I was awakened during that time.

I realized that the reason I feel so unfocused and scattered lately is because I lost my focus. Not that I wasn't spending time with Jesus, but just that I somehow started seperating that from all of the other things in my life. I stopped looking for Jesus in everything.

I banished Jesus to one spot of my life and therefore the chaos swept in and took my sanity away. And the reason I banished Jesus to my quiet times was because I felt SO guilty all of the sudden because I felt I wasn't spending enough time with Him, or when I was, I wasn't doing it "right". Which is a lie from the enemy, because I wear the breastplate of righteousness.

Jesus told me a month ago that life with Him is always coffee time. I laugh at this, because it's something that Mom does. She makes coffee, grabs her favorite chocolate bar, and watches FOX News or simply sits.

Anyway, so Jesus held out a cup of coffee for me, and I saw that He also had one. I asked Him what "coffee time" meant exactly. He said that it's when I sit back with Him, sip my coffee and enjoy each other's company. Then, when it's time, He'll let me know what to do, and we'll do whatever it is together.

Not to say that life with Jesus is a bed of roses, "the realm of God is dangerous". But what coffee time represents to me is NOT WORRYING. Not worrying about what I'm supposed to do next, that what I'm doing now is right.

And Jesus has ALWAYS kept me up-to-date on what is next, and when I do make a mistake somewhere, He points it out. And then I can let Him fix it and we move on.

I still have a lot of things to do lately, but I don't need to let it all overwhelm me. When I let my very existence be JESUS, I see what truly matters. Also, Rome wasn't built in a day, and I'm not supposed to have it all figured out either. If I did, life wouldn't be a wonderful learning experience, the Holy Spirit being my teacher.

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