Sunday, December 13, 2009

A Whole New Freedom

I was thinking to myself, "Maybe I should blog about the new happenings in my life." And The Holy Spirit immediately got all excited and was like "YEAH! Do it!"

So here I am! Little ol' me. I've been packing my room up since God told me to a month ago. It wasn't so bad at first, but then God had me apologize to a couple people for something I did 12-13 years ago that I had not spoken of EVER. It was definitely a dying to flesh experience, and was REALLY liberating. It turned out that something that I had made out to be a really big deal in head really wasn't that big. One of the biggest changes that I've noticed since they've forgiven me is that I am not angry, or at least as angry. My friend, Sarah, said that it's probably because I'm not mad at myself anymore. This is true, since I had a lot of self-hatred for 12-13 years. But now, NOTHING can hold me back! I'VE GOT THE POWER! because of...Jesus. ;-)

During the week that it took me to work up the nerve, then finally make my apologies, I left my room to rot. My bed was covered with stuff, and I slept on a sofa outside my room. I just could not deal with it.

Then, yesterday I went to my work's Christmas Party (Breakthrough to Destiny Ministries). I wasn't concentrating too much on fellowship, since I was helping organize the party. Then one of my friends asked me what was new, and I ended up telling her about how God has asked me to pack, ect. My other friend, Marion, ended up joining the conversation, and it was SUCH a divine appointment! She had been through the same thing, except it was moving from Germany to London! She said that as soon as she finished packing, she got a call from a friend who had a place for her to stay, even though this friend had no idea that Marion had been packing.

So Marion prayed and encouraged me, and after finals are over on Tuesday, I'll tackle my room again. I did clean off my bed last night though, when Sarah spent the night. So I can stretch out now! :D

Another happening that encouraged me. As I mentioned in previous blogs, I've been spending a lot of alone time with God lately. I've been reaching for a deeper intimacy and really craving His company. I've been emotionally exhausted since He told me I'll be moving out soon, and that is another reason I've been needing Him so desperately (which He loves!).

I've been really focusing on sensing angels again too. God opened up being able to feel angels' presence at Jesus Culture, but I ended up letting it go for a while. Fear had a lot to do with it. I didn't trust my discernment, and didn't want my focus to shift from Jesus to angels. But God has assured me that this is just a gift that He longs to give His children, so He heightened my senses again this past week.

Sarah and I had wondered if God was going to have us move in together, since He has us both in a time of packing right now. But Friday night, He gave me a firm no. I told her Saturday, at the Christmas party. She had been feeling the same thing, and even though we appreciated the clarity, we were pretty bummed out.

So I invited her to come home with me and we could worship, pray, and fellowship together. When we first entered my room, she commented on feeling such a peace and presence of God in my room. As we began soaking, I became overwhelmed by the presence of angels in the room! There was a wind that was swirling all around me. It. Was. Awesome.

In the wee hours of the morning, Sarah started telling me about how my room was really such a portal to the Kingdom of Heaven. I was really excited that she said that, because even though I know that I can enter into the presence of God easily in the basement, I wasn't aware of how strong it was, since I didn't have anywhere else to compare it to.

I told her that it was interesting, because one of the things I feel God has shown me is how strong God's presence is going to be wherever I move, because it will be mine. I had shared this with her before.

Sarah said that she had actually been thinking whenever I told her before, about IHOP. She told me how when IHOP was meeting in a building that wasn't theirs, the presence was strong. But when they got their own building, it increase SO much! I'm looking forward to it :0)

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