Tuesday, March 9, 2010

An Intro to my Extro

I think that I may just maybe may be turning into an extrovert. I'm not quite sure yet, time will tell, but here are my reasons why:

1. Since I stopped watching television, I find that I have more time to be alone with God. Because of this, I'm recharged a lot more often. Therefore, I am able to be with friends for longer periods of time, listening, sharing, laughing, and just cutting up.

2. I actually have friends. Not that I didn't before, but I just was not sure if they were honest-to-goodness friends. But they've stuck by me, even though they may not see me or talk to me that often, because I live out in the middle of nowhere and have 4 classes this quarter. They don't care about that, because they truly do care about me.

3. My friends LISTEN. I still do the whole introvert thing of processing my thoughts more through journaling, blogging, and pondering. But my friends actually ask me questions, and I find that they aren't having to pull things out of me as much. The reason behind them having to tug and pull before was because I would be wondering, "Do they really want to listen to what I'm about to say?" But now I find that it can hard for me to shut my mouth when I'm around them.

5. God told me that He doesn't want me to be alone, and to let His people be kind to me. On Sunday, I had lunch with a couple of new friends. It was our first time hanging out and getting to know each other. They told me that they wanted me to call them and hang out with them some more, especially since I was in the boonies and genuine human contact on a deep, spiritual level is rare. As I left though, I started having all of these thoughts like, "They didn't really mean that." But then I realized that this was an attack from the enemy, and God immediately said, "Yes! Let My people cherish you. After all, I cherish you, why shouldn't they?"

So that was all about my self-worth.

Something else I've realized is that my #1 Love Language is when people really listen to what I share about myself. I tend to listen to what other people are sharing, because I find people interesting, but then some will completely dominate the conversation. And it's hard for me to put myself out there, but when I do, and when people listen and we have a genuine conversation...let's just say I'm going to love you forever and always. I become that dog from the movie, Up. "I have just met you, and I love you."

I'm not exaggerating.

So being suddenly and completely surrounded by people who really love ME, and not just the person I may let them see, is really turning me into a talker. WOOT!

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Be Here Now

"My son, listen to my words; bow your ear to what I say; let them not depart from your eyes; keep them in the center of your heart; for they are life to those who find them and healing to all his flesh.

Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it are the issues of life. Turn away from you the crooked mouth and put devious lips far from you. Let your eyes look to the front; and let your eyelids look straight before you. Study the track of your feet and all your ways will be established. Do not turn to the right or to the left; turn your foot aside from evil."
Proverbs 4:20-27

During college algebra, God suddenly said, "Watch The Silver Chair when you get home." We own the PBS version, and I had not watched it in years. While I was watching it, I knew what God was telling me. The heroine, a little girl named Jill, is given a task by Aslan. To fulfill the task, she must remember and follow 5 or 6 signs. During most of her journey though, she is far from diligent in remembering the signs and reciting them. Aslan has to come and repeat the signs to her.

I believe God was driving what He spoke to me the night before further into my spirit. He had told me several things that I was to do, but I had not even written them down! He said, "Start achieving things to the best of your ability, increase your fellowship with Me, raise your expectations of yourself, and be the heroine of your own story."

I love how following God is never about striving, because I have His grace to do what tasks I am given. But that does not mean that He is going to baby me. I am to be the heroine! I am not to look at the task at hand and be scared, I'm to look to God and know He has equipped me with what I need.

"And I give thanks to Him empowering me, our Lord Jesus Christ, because He counted me faithful, putting me into the ministry." 1 Timothy 1:12

I leave you with one of the most beautiful songs I have ever heard.

Don't let your mind get weary and confused
Your will be still, don't try
Don't let your heart get heavy child
Inside you there's a strength that lies

Don't let your soul get lonely child
It's only time, it will go by
Don't look for love in faces, places
It's in you, that's where you'll find kindness

Be here now, here now
Be here now, here now

Don't lose your faith in me
And I will try not to lose faith in you
Don't put your trust in walls
'Cause walls will only crush you when they fall

Be here now, here now
Be here now, here now

Wednesday, March 3, 2010


Spirit that form'd this scene,
The tumbled rock-piles grim and red,
These reckless heaven-ambitious peaks,
The gorges, turbulent-clear streams, this naked freshness,
These formless wild arrays, for reasons of their own,
I know thee, savage spirit - we have communed together.


It's easy to look at life and lose hope of the future. We focus on mistakes, think too much about the past, worry about the future. We let go of hope, and lose sight of God in the process. We lose sight of goals.

God told me tonight that I have been guilty of underachieving. It caught me off guard, as usual. It's true. I rarely TRY, or practice something ahead of time. I tend to wing it, and it tends to always work. But God knows that I am capable of even more! He said that it's time to raise my expectations of myself. Time to set goals, time to actually achieve.

He also said that it's time for a deeper intimacy with Him. I've felt over the last couple weeks, a rise in my passion for Him. I've finally COMPLETELY quit watching tv, and boy, did that make a difference! Anyway, He told me a couple months ago that I had stepped into the overflow of His Kingdom. And now He says that this deeper intimacy is going to help me, as I now start achieving new goals I'm about to set.
Everything I do will be an extension of my time spent with Him!

It's an exciting time in my life. Doors have opened for me left and right. I've made so many new friends through divine appointments, I don't even know how to juggle it all. Fortunately, God freed me a couple weeks ago from compartmentalizing my life, and now I really do feel like things are simply an extension of our time together. It's all about Jesus! He's calling me to step into my destiny this year, whatever that may be.

"Make the place of your tent larger, and let them stretch out the curtains of your dwellings. Do not spare, lengthen your cords and strengthen your stakes. For you shall break forth on the right hand and on the left. And your seed shall possess nations, and people will inhabit ruined cities. Do not fear, for you shall not be ashamed, nor shall you be disgraced, for you shall not be wounded. For you shall forget the shame of your youth, and you shall not remember the reproach of your widowhood any more. For your Maker is your husband; Jehovah of hosts is His name; and your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel; He is called the God of all the earth." Isaiah 54:2-5

"But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." Matthew 6:33

Keep Calling Your Future In!

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Chocolate Bar

I've been going to IHOP (International House of Prayer) for the renewal/outpouring services they've been having on the weekends. It's been awesome, and I've been getting rocked by God!

Last Saturday, after I'd received a lot of prayer and was just soaking up Jesus, I heard Him say, "You should buy a chocolate bar on the way home."

It was extremely random, but I thought, "That's an easy assignment!"

Later, I went to put on my shoes, and found purple crayon wrappers in them. Not knowing where they came from, I went to throw them away on my way out the door. Beside the trashcan, I saw a quarter. I picked it up and saw that it had my birth year on it. Thinking that was pretty neat, I stuck it in my coat pocket.

I arrived at Kroger close to 1 am. Going to their candy section, I picked up one of Hershey's Symphony bars. I was about to walk away when I saw Cadbury bars were on sale for the same price. I stood there for a few minutes, trying to decide. Cadbury chocolate is the best chocolate they sell at Kroger. But the Symphony bar is bigger.

As I stood there, indecisive, with Kroger employees stocking shelves all around me, God suddenly spoke. He said, "Would you rather have more of the good thing? Or would you rather have less of the best thing? Which one is going to bring you more satisfaction?"

Without further hesitation, I picked up the Cadbury bar and placed the Symphony bar back on the shelf. As I walked to the self check-out, the only thing open at this time of day, I thought about how choosing a chocolate bar is similar to life with God. I'm actually still digesting this revelation, and waiting for God to show me more.

I arrive at the self check-out and it tells me that there is no cash back after 11 pm. The bar is $1.25, and I don't have any change, and only one dollar bill resting in between some bigger bills. Suddenly, I remember the quarter I found earlier! Happy that God has provided, without me even knowing what He was doing, I put the money in the machine. I start to leave when suddenly, the coin dispenser spits out a bunch of change and says, "Have a nice day, and thank-you for shopping with us!"

It was definitely the gift to myself that kept on giving. And when I ate my chocolate the next day, I found that I was quite satisfied with my choice.

It's snowing, so no classes today. I am happy.