Thursday, June 24, 2010

Dream a little dream

I used to think I knew what busy was until I moved out. NOW I know. Wish I was getting paid to stay this busy...being an intern can be the pits.

Anywho, guess what God started showing me! How important dreaming is, and how it is linked to ambition and...the motivation to get out of bed every morning.

I'm not talking about sleep dreaming, or daydreaming, I'm talking about those dreams that spur you forward.

I had not been thinking about dreams for over a year, or maybe longer. Last night though, God was talking to me through that book I told you all about before "Soul Cravings". I'm in the Destiny section.

I'm reading along, minding my own business, when BAM, God whacks me over the side of my spirit with this fact: I need to dream.

I started thinking about the conversations I'd been having that day. My friend, Josiah, is SUPER excited because his dream of having a program to teach kids about Christ has come true at the young age of 22. He worked really hard, has the ambition and drive to fulfill his vision, and now it is happening.

Another friend, Moshe, was telling me how he wants to be a farmer. He started bee hiving (or whatever you're supposed to call that) and sees that as the beginning. I agreed. But I was just sitting there, enjoying his successes, being encouraging, not thinking that God was trying to ENCOURAGE ME to do the same. Not become a farmer, but to dream.

Thinking about these conversations, and now reading this book, I was starting to think that God had been setting me up. Then I knew it.

I had also just picked up my flute for the first time in years the night before, and had started learning how to play the piano that day. And to top it all off, I had also given myself a ballet class earlier that evening (I used to be pretty good, but hadn't done anything with it in several years). I did ballet that night because I had this incredible urge to feel STRONG again. I thought that I would be awful, but was surprised by how powerful my body still felt. I grasped onto something that was always out of my reach when I used to dance every day all day. That I was more capable of great things than I realized if I just stopped being afraid of being great. Of being diligent.

It's something that not one of my ballet teachers ever taught me, all except one. I don't think that it is a coincidence that this teacher was my only male ballet teacher. All of my female ballet teachers fostered a controlling, competitive spirit (I think it's because of our obsession with our body image and how we let it control what we believe about ourselves). This guy, Peter, did not even care about any of that. He would constantly be giving us speeches on what dance was about, connecting with a movement in such a way that you BECOME that movement...or that movement becomes you and what you are feeling in that moment. But his words would fall on dense, insecure ears.

But now I suddenly got it, last night. By myself, with no mirrors and with only the feeling of my own muscles guiding me, I not only knew EXACTLY what he was talking about, I felt it. I became it.

So I sat there and let the words in this book get absorbed into my spirit. I used to have many, many dreams. And now...I'm not really sure what I want. I'm excited to find out.

No comments:

Post a Comment