Monday, June 14, 2010

Hostile Environments

I'm packing officially, because I'm moving out, officially, this week.

I learned something pretty big last night, so I thought I would share.

God told me a few months ago that I crave hostile environments. This is true, I personally crave hostile environments, as long as God has given me the grace to be there. These environments strengthen me and push me closer to God. I wasn't sure though how this actually works in the spiritual realm, until a lady prophesied over me a couple months ago. She said that I am a desert rose, and the thing about desert roses is that their roots go deep. So she told me that I am to not worry about my dry surroundings, but let these surroundings push me closer towards God, and go deeper and deeper. I'm to have strong roots that run deep.

But the thing about hostile environments is that I face judgment and rejection a lot, ironically from Christians. I was soaking with God a couple days ago, and confessed that I did not know how I was going to stand up against any more judgments from Christians who did not understand me or our relationship. God said, "You must always wear the breastplate of righteousness, and that will completely thwart all darts the enemy throws your way." I immediately felt this huge release in my spirit.

Then last night, I was dancing at IHOP (prayer, not pancakes). I entered into a whole lot of warfare and birthing dancing. The room was full of people, and I could feel some not understanding what the heck I was doing. I felt frustrated, and then God said, "Jenny, who are you going to believe? Them or Me?"

I immediately started laughing as relief burst through my frame. DUH! I was going to believe God and what He said of me, not anyone else.

Not saying these Christians don't believe God, or listen to His voice. But I dance like a freakin maniac sometimes. And everyone has different levels of discernment and wisdom, because everyone is on their own personal journey to get closer and closer to Jesus. I just can't let their journeys hinder mine.

I have also realized that no matter what the age and wisdom of a person, they are still human, and I must take everything everyone says before God. No matter how trusted their counsel has been.

current song on repeat.

"They should deliver all my blessings in small brown paper bags near the porch.
I wished I'd known that you were bleeding while I sat

and watched you reading with the lord.

I read with him, too.

When you look at me, I'll be digesting your legs,
because I can hardly see what is in front of me these days,
and those days too."

I should get back to packing. I am very happy to be entering this new season, even if it means leaving my family. I have to enter into what God has for me and "Say goodbye to my father, my mother, say goodbye to every other lover and press on. Press on."

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