Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Statistics is over. I survived. I will never do that again (procrastinate so intensely). I was so busy that I wasn't able to examine everything that I have been processing through this past week. On the ride home a friend's house tonight, I was thinking about how tired I feel. I feel old.
It isn't just physically. I feel like an old book that has been read thousands of times, a story that is constantly being retold. I feel like a long life, one that keeps living the same activities, never adding new ones. I feel like I'm lost.
I have been happy where I am at spiritually, and have become very complacent. I pursue You, Lord! I pursue You. So tired, but still, I pursue You. I am breaking free from everything I have done before. I want to move into the paths that forerunners have run, and then start my own. I need to get to the show. I need to leave my life, leave my story, leave my subtitles that I see in my daily activities. Leaving is the ONLY way I can ENTER into anything else.