Saturday, March 3, 2012

Creature of Habit

Sometimes there is more peace in saying goodbye than in holding on to the way you wish things could be.

I am changing my habits, and the benefits have been great so far. I am sleeping 7-8 hours every night at the same time (except for last night I had a strange dream that jerked me awake after 5 hours). I started dreaming like I used to early last year. I'm happier during the day (except for yesterday when I was exhausted from working many hours this week). Overall I am gaining more clarity on what the answers are to keeping me happy, and the answers all involve daily discipline and boundaries. Both are hard for me to follow through unconsciously, but if I'm going to grow up in wisdom I have to follow what I believe God shows me to be wise. It's scary.

Something that I have realized in all of this is that someone is always going to get hurt because of my actions. Even if my actions make sense and are what I see to be best, someone else's weakness or misinterpretation of what I am doing may easily hurt them. Despite this, I have to hand them over to God and keep doing it.

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