I got extremely frustrated a couple nights ago. I was driving home from IHOP after one of their services, and found myself getting agitated. I asked God what was going on and He said, "You're bored."
"Oh...right."
I realized that I have been spiritually bored for a while now. So I said, "Yes, I am bored. I love You, but I know that You have more to give me, and I want that now, because I know that it is there! I have been bored and complacent for the past week, and am no longer satisfied with this state of being. What should I do?"
I immediately remembered an email my friend Sergio sent me in March. Here is an excerpt.
"But I'm so hungry for intimacy with Him, Jenny, I don't wanna just be living in the same city with Him but I want to be right there in the chambers of the King. And like The Final Quest, I want to be as close as I can be! It actually talks about the thrones in Job 36:5-12 'He has seated them forever.' ...Jamie Pridgen from IHOP-Atlanta was telling a story of how there was a man who had a dream he was in the woods and saw a chariot of fire come to him in the woods, an angel came to him and told him to get in. The chariot took him across a blue sapphire sea where there was blue sand in every direction for as far as you could see. he got out of the chariot and Jesus appeared to him. "This is the sea of the knowledge of God." He explained. "Every grand of sand is an aspect of who I am." He knelt down to scoop up a hand full of sand in His hand. "This is all I've given for the sons of men to know in this age." He opens His other hand and there is only one grain of sand. "...And this is all the church has been staring at for the past two thousand years." And Jenny it's stuff like that that just stirs me to seek and run after the knowledge of God, the invite to know Him more and more deeper!"
Driving in the car, I knew that the new thing that God wants to release on me, on us, is something I should CONTEND for. I was tired of staring at this one grain of sand, especially knowing that this is not what God intended. And I also had this feeling that waking up really early had something to do with this contending, but I didn't know what. I felt like God wanted me to turn on the radio, and the song playing was saying "you're a new morning" over and over.
I didn't want to go home, so I drove to the next town, not really knowing why. I thought I was going to Chili's to eat good food and have a long talk with God. But God said, "You should talk to Moshe about what you're feeling. He'll understand and he is a 'die hard'."
I was hungry and stubborn though, so I went ahead to Chili's. After standing there for 5 minutes, and not one of their waiters coming to seat me, I was getting ticked. God said, "You are supposed to be talking to Moshe."
"Fine."
Moshe was in this town, and after I shared my feelings of boredom and hunger for something completely new and different from God, he confessed to having the same feelings. After we talked and prayed, he had an idea. His idea was to wake up the next day really early and go watch the sunrise. Thinking about my thoughts in the car about waking up early, I agreed. We were going to greet the new day as well as whatever the new thing was that God has for us.
It was awesome, I have never purposely sat and watched a sunrise before, and I was in awe at the wonder of it. I now want to greet every day this way.
And for now, this story ends here, because I'm still contending...if you feel like you are left hanging, you are not alone. I feel the same.
Come my tan-faced children,
Follow well in order, get your weapons ready,
Have you your pistols? have you your sharp-edged axes?
Pioneers! O pioneers!
For we cannot tarry here,
We must march my darlings, we must bear the brunt of danger,
We the youthful sinewy races, all the rest on us depend,
Pioneers! O pioneers!
O you youths, Western youths,
So impatient, full of action, full of manly pride and friendship,
Plain I see you Western youths, see you tramping with the foremost,
Pioneers! O pioneers!
Have the elder races halted?
Do they droop and end their lesson, wearied over there beyond the seas?
We take up the task eternal, and the burden and the lesson,
Pioneers! O pioneers!
All the past we leave behind,
We debouch upon a newer mightier world, varied world,
Fresh and strong the world we seize, world of labor and the march,
Pioneers! O pioneers!
We detachments steady throwing,
Down the edges, through the passes, up the mountains steep,
Conquering, holding, daring, venturing as we go the unknown ways,
Pioneers! O pioneers!
- from Pioneers! O Pioneers! by Walt Whitman
KEEP CALLING YOUR FUTURE IN!
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