I was out all day looking for a job. My wrist hurts from filling out so many applications. They all ask questions that are answered on my resume! I wish stores would just take that instead.
Anyway, I shouldn't complain, because I will get a job, sooner or later. Hopefully sooner. The right one is out there with my name on it. I have to know that and believe that.
I'm pounding the pavement again tomorrow. The more I put myself out there consistently, the more I feel better about myself, even if I don't hear anything back for a while.
I strung my guitar last night. Yay! And when I started playing, I finally felt this release of emotions that I hadn't known what to do with. There hadn't been a way for me to be so honest with God for a while I guess. I get tired of being honest in my journals sometimes, because it is there on paper, forever. When I play guitar and just sing, it goes in God's ears, and no one else needs to ever know, and I don't even have to remember how I felt in that moment. No record, no shame, no chance to look back and judge myself. I made a song up using two chords, ha!
I've been ready to hit the sack ever since I got home a few hours ago. I had a pretty cool dream last night, but it will have to wait until after sleep. I need to take care of myself before going out of town with friends on Friday. That's right! Another road trip. I just got back from one last weekend. I don't think I've ever traveled on the road so much in one year. I'm honestly not sure what I think about being in a car for yet another weekend. Being stuck in a car for hours is not fun for me at all, and I don't think that it matters who is with me. It still feels like a waste of time. But, I am going to go, and I am going to be positive, even if I don't like it, because, eventually, we will get to our destinations (we have three of them) and have a blast. I hope. Who knows what God has in store.
Still on a William Fitzsimmons kick.
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