But every time someone at work asks me how I'm doing, I say I'm "good" or "great", but can't look them in the eye. So I know then that I'm sorta off.
And when I was running this morning, I processed through all of it, until I arrived at the conclusion and then the question. I feel incomplete, like I'm missing my chest, but I'm moving through life anyway.
Why do I feel incomplete?
It makes no sense. I don't get it. Usually I'm fine. Great. But for most of the year now, I have been descending down and down.
But I think my eyes are just being opened to how I am inside so I can let God help me deal with it. This is how I've been all along, but I was high as a kite before, and couldn't see it.
This still doesn't answer my question though. WHY in the heck would I feel so empty or put aside or whatever this is? I feel like this life should be enough, and that it should make me happy. Instead I feel like it is going to swallow me whole and spit me out the other side a completely new and different person...
...which may be God's intent.
Grrr Arrrgh Grrr
I'm going to bed.
Caught up on all your posts. You're growing up, getting older, "launching" out! Basically you are living life. That's what all this is called. : )
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