Tuesday, December 25, 2012

I am going to dance again.

God has been ministering to my heart how he really does have a plan for me, and it is being fulfilled every single day. I just have to believe, and be willing to receive it.

He actually prodded me to begin dancing again, much to my joyful surprise! I really did think that part of my life was long gone. I never saw it in my future since I left the studio 5 years ago. But here I am today, enrolled in the Dance Studies program at my dream college, and getting more nervous and excited everyday to get back into the studio in January.

The past 5 years have been incredible, and I wouldn't take one thing away. It was hard to push forward though, and even harder to hold onto the hope that my future was bright. I have wanted to help others through dance ever since I was 4 years old. My dance teacher then, Ms. Nancy, was my role model, and I wanted to be just like her. She made me feel like I could do anything, and that I was beautiful.

When God asked me stop, because he was jealous (the dance world was beginning to suck me in, and it isn't all tutus and roses, let me tell ya), I listened. He gave me no word that I would ever return, but it was worth it to me if I could only stay with Jesus. He had promised me adventure with him, and that is all I ever wanted.

Adventure is what I got too, as Jesus led me to deal with my battles with anger and codependency. He challenged me to look outside of myself, and at the world around me. He taught me the difference between sympathy and empathy, between empowering and enabling. I went to churches I never would have attended. I made friends I never would have had, and with them I had adventures that changed my life. In the midst of this, I experienced a roller coaster of emotions inside as I struggled to trust God with who I am, for once not letting dance define me.

I have a trust in Jesus that I never had before, after coming through the wilderness with him. It is amazing to look back and see how much stronger he has made me. I would never be the person I am today if I hadn't given up dance. I don't regret where he has lead me, and I certainly have no protests to where he is taking me now. It is going to keep being an adventure.

No comments:

Post a Comment