Sunday, April 24, 2011

College Picking

I have decided, after some prodding from God, that I want to go to college out of state. Mom helped me narrow the search down tonight based on price and weather. Isaac helped too when he said that Oklahoma has the most tornadoes, but the list is still lengthy. So I have armed myself with a box of reduced fat Cheez-its and Stevia chocolate chip cookies, and planted myself in front of the computer to do an hour or so of research before bed. Life is feeling short now that I know what I want to do, so I am getting things figured out as fast as possible.

If anyone has any suggestions, tips, or advice about various states, please share! I have narrowed it down to eastern states, none up north though. Too cold.

Have I mentioned that I can't remember being this motivated?

Friday, April 22, 2011

Couch Potato

I started a free week trial at the closest gym. I have only been once, but I really enjoyed it! I definitely am guessing on how to work the equipment though, but its kinda fun to guess ;). I am currently dressed to go there again but...I just ate. So I am waiting for my food to digest. I'll probably watch an episode of Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution to get pumped, because my body is currently sore, exhausted, and wants to be a couch potato.

God is currently teaching me how to deal with feelings, like anger, without letting them control my actions. The main thing is to be assertive and let people know how I feel without blowing my top off. There is no reason to be aggressive, especially if people around you don't even know you are upset! Then they just think you're crazy or spiteful. Yep. Don't want to be that way. So I am taking action and making sure I communicate! I am pretty sure this is something that I will always be dealing with and have to be conscious of. As long as I walk it out with Jesus I will be okay. :D

It is hard though, and feels like shaky ground. But that is just because I am not always letting myself stand on the Rock, and instead try to trust myself. My flesh wants me to believe that I am more solid than the Rock. This is not true.

I love you all!

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

There is a light up ahead.

There is light! It is coming towards me! I can see it. I can feel it. If I concentrated hard enough, I could probably taste it.

Whenever I have pictured myself making something my career, I have seen some sort of darkness looming in the future. It would be in the form of codependency, jealousy, lies, ect. This possibility lies in almost any job, but I knew that for me it would not matter if I overcame these obstacles. Either way I would feel drained afterwards. This was because I could not find any passion within me to pursue these careers. I had no desire to fight.

The exact opposite happened when I realized that I wanted to become a dietitian and a personal trainer. A light was suddenly burning so bright in front of me! My future was practically on fire, and it was coming towards me fast. It was overcoming the darkness with an intensity that was increasing, and I welcomed it. I had found passion at last. Nothing was wrong with me, I just hadn't seen the light up ahead on any other path.

There will be times when I have to fight and make sure I keep my head despite my surroundings, but now it is worth it.

Monday, April 18, 2011

So much to do!

To join a gym or to not join a gym. To get a personal trainer at the gym or to read, read, read and train myself.

I need weight room experience before taking classes to become a personal trainer, and I don't have any. So I am trying to decide what to do. I know that staff at the gym nearby help you with all of their equipment and devise a personalized program to fit your goals.

Until then, I have Hot Yoga classes and the occasional run with Mom and a mutual friend. I also have some great equipment at home to get in shape.

I need to make a couple more calls today about college.

I need to stop psyching myself out, because I tend to think that I have to learn and do everything at once. My mind keeps filling up with ideas though of what I could do! I have never been so excited about doing something. But I just need to take deep breaths and remind myself that everything must be done one step at a time.

Any suggestions?

About 6 hours later...

Man, I just got back from the college wear I got my associate's in social work. I thought it was going to be a really simple visit of filling out two forms, but it turned into running around the campus talking to Advisement, Financial Aid, Cashier, Student Records, and Admissions. This was because I found out that I had more hoops to jump through than I had expected. Everyone wanted to make sure I was helped though, and in the end I had the information I needed and every i dotted and t crossed. However, I did walk out of there completely frazzled and stressed.

I then went to the fitness center closest to my house and requested a tour.

Then I got home and Dorsey got to hear me explain why I was so flustered and drained. Although, it was Isaac who asked, but he walked out of the room before I was finished lol.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

I am running up that hill.

To watch Doctor Who or to work-out. I can't do both at the same time. I just tried on swimming suits (I found two I like! WOOT!), and not to judge myself by the mirror but...I am out of shape. Personal Trainers are not out of shape. I, myself, Jenny, do not want to be out of shape. So I am going to work-out. Then tomorrow my family is going hiking, because that is what we love. Operation Get Moving has commenced.

Before I go do that I wanted to share this song that I just heard and loved.

Did you hear that? That was my sigh of content. One of the things I like about secular music is that it reveals to me the heart of God in such a unique way. Take this song for example. It tells of someone's broken mindset of their life and how they want God should help them. The lyrics are so honest and free from glitz and glamor. I know that God loves this person. I know that God hears this person's song. I know that God sees their heart and what their motives are. I believe that God does not want me to hide myself from what this person is saying, but listen and seek to see him or her as God sees them. I am letting my heart listen to this song with God so that I ache with Him for this person and whoever identifies with the song. I know that God is way more able than me to listen to what this person is saying without judging them for it, and I want to be like that too.

That may seem like just an excuse to listen to secular music to you, and you can think what you may. I'm cool with that. If God has asked you not to listen to secular music, I'm cool with that too.

Friday, April 15, 2011

You can dance if you want to. You can leave your friends behind, cuz your friends don't dance and if they don't dance they're no friends of mine.

I can't help it. I'm miffed. So I will vent here.

I can't go to a Christian dance party and dance with a guy, apparently. There are rules announced at the beginning of every Christian dance party to which I have been. It is usually said that it is encouraged to not dance with the opposite sex, not dance too close to each other, or not dance with the opposite sex period.

This bugs me. All they need to say is "no dirty dancing". That's it. Leave the rest to us because, hey, we gotta learn where to draw the line by ourselves at some point. We are all adults here.

I am allowed to be 21. I am allowed to be a woman. I am allowed to dance with a man.

Life can be so sad and choking in the Christian world. I'm at a place where I want to just say "I love Jesus" instead of labeling myself a Christian, because there are so many unspoken, or spoken rules about how to be a Christian. A lady I met tonight was chatting me up and asked if I went to church anywhere. I said no. She asked if I was raised in church. I said yes. She said, "So now you don't go?" I said yes, unapologetically. She said, "Oh okay, I get it." She didn't get it at all, which wasn't her fault. I had not offered any explanation. I wasn't angry at her, but I realized in that moment that I didn't give a rat's tail what she thought about me.

That's it. I think I narrowed it down nicely without ranting on and on forever. I don't want to be bitter, but this is how I feel.

(Disclaimer: I don't have anything against attending church regularly. I don't have anything against dancing solo. But, please, let me do these things because I feel led to and not out of obligation.)

“Follow your heart, but be quiet for a while first. Ask questions, then feel the answer. Learn to trust your heart.”

God had me watch the two seasons of Pushing Daisies recently. A fantastic television show. Fred Rogers (from Mister Roger's Neighborhood) believes that "The space between the television set and that person who's watching is very holy ground." Agreeing with him, I watched the show and waited to see what the message was for me. I got nothing. God urged me to think about it some more, but still nothing. It was a hard show for me to ponder on for long, because the longer I thought about it, the more I realized that it is such a sad story. I couldn't put my finger on why I thought that way about it.

The happiness that springs from the show did impact me. There are two characters who are almost always smiling, and they bring joy to those around them. They "light up the room". I have always been referred to as "sunshine" and similar things myself, so I thought, this is how I want to be. I want to keep being happy and bring joy to others' lives.

A few days later, a person who I had just met asked me what I was passionate about. "Uh." This was not a conversation I wanted to have with a stranger. This was not a conversation I wanted to have with anybody. I had no idea. I blurted out my old passion though. "Dancing! I love dancing." Dancing is more of my bliss though, and not my passion. God had me give up my dream to be a dance teacher a few years ago. Though I can still feel that dream rotting and decaying inside of me from time to time, I don't want to go back to it. If I did it would break my heart. It was breaking my heart when I was holding onto it. Dance and I had a love-hate relationship.

This past Sunday I asked God if the joy in my favorite characters was what He was trying to show me. I thought, making people happy must be my passion. What do you think? He immediately said, "No. Making people happy should not be your focus. You should focus instead on bringing changed into others' lives and empowering them to make their own changes. You can show them that things can be different."

When God said this it reminded me of something I had said several years ago. I had said, "I love seeing people empowered to make changes in their lives and see things differently based on something I did. It is what makes me the most happy." I had forgotten that. I still, however, had no idea HOW I was supposed to do that or WHAT it looked like. Plus, what on earth was the point of watching Pushing Daisies anyway, besides the enjoyment of it. "I wanted you to see that most of those characters were waiting for something that was never going to happen, but they kept on waiting anyway." This was true, and I realized that was what was making me sad to reflect on the show. But what did this have to do with me?

Wednesday I went to visit my family's chiropractor (my posture has decayed right along with my dancing). Mom, Jon and I were in the waiting room talking. Jon is about to graduate high school, and I was asking him about his classes. I was surprised to find that he found biology boring. "I loved biology!" I exclaimed. I explained some of the fascinated facts I had learned about my body and how it helped my overall health. Jon just shook his head. Mom said something along the lines of how I could become a dietitian. This was said lightly and almost in a passing manner, and my name was called. As I rested on the chiropractor's table, he asked me how school was going. Great, I thought, someone else is going to think I'm a bum. "I'm actually not going to school right now. I got an associates degree in Social Work." He said, "Oh, okay." And that was it, much to my relief.

As I was still and quiet on that table though, things became quite clear. I realized that God had told me not to focus on making others happy because it would only lead to codependent relationships. I realized that, yes, I did not want to be a counselor, case manager, group therapist, or any other type of social worker. I realized that I did not want to bake for a living, own a bakery, or anything similar. I did, however, want to empower people to make changes in their lives. I wanted to uncover those hidden from the world. This is when that homeless bird flew into my head and found a home.

I WANTED to be a dietitian. And not only that, I thought becoming a personal trainer would be equally amazing.

My body remained calm as my chiropractor adjusted me, but inside I was secretly having a party. I FOUND MY CALLING, I screamed on the inside.

It was one of the singular moments in my life when I couldn't think of a reason to NOT do something, because I WANTED to do it so bad. I had been waiting to want to be a social worker or a baker. I was waiting for something that was never going to happen, because I had been waiting to want to be something that I was not supposed to be.

So that is my long story. I am sticking to it. :-) I got to go get on my day and call college admissions, ect. I am SO excited. Taking this season of rest is certainly paying off! I just needed some time to process and let my subconscious and God assure me that I can be true to myself without missing my destiny.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

There's a light up ahead.

I have always loved this song. It is one of my favorite Christian rock songs. I found the acoustic just now and wanted to share it! I also strongly advise looking at the music video.
Christian rock just doesn't seem to be as solid as this anymore.

So I had a MAJOR epiphany this week. It started when God told me something that I didn't understand. A few days later I did. Then, what I wanted to do flew into my head like a bird that had never had a home.

But I want to go to sleep. The details will have to wait for a later blog.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

The Chocolate Vision

It's perfect timing to write this blog because I just realized...I am behind on laundry and I need to wear clothes tomorrow.

It is much delayed since when God told me this He said, "Tell everyone!" He has never told me that right away before, so here goes some tellin'.... Just let me put a load in the washer real quick.

Alright. It was on one of those stormy nights last week when I was shown this. Jesus took me to a rustic wooden door and opened it. He ushered me to enter. I walked in and was in a square room with dark wooden walls. I felt like I was in a basement. There was one large window on the opposite side of the room. The center of the room had a couple wooden tables with a few chairs. The walls of the room were lined with shelves of different sizes. Working at the tables were two older men. One had spectacles. They both turned and glanced at me, then went back to work. Covering their tables was an assortment of small round chocolates.

I was immediately frustrated, as I usually am whenever I am shown something by Jesus that looks so simple that I don't understand. I tried to just stay calm and be patient. I looked at Jesus still standing by the door, holding it open. He looked quite please with what was going on in the room and gazed back at me. I thought, "Okay, He is going to explain it to me. He always does."

He began to speak, "This is how I have been giving My children the Kingdom." I looked at the bite-sized pieces of chocolate. "They know what to do with these pieces of chocolate. It is a good size for them to swallow."

Jesus pulled the door away from the wall and let me look behind it. There was a shelf full of large chunks of chocolate bigger than my hand. He gestured for me to look at the shelves beside it. They were also full of large chunks of chocolate. He reached over and picked one up and I saw how it was jagged and not in a particular shape. The other pieces were like this as well. It was as if each one had been broken off of a whole BIG piece. He set it down and began to explain again for me.

"These are what I am giving people in the body now." I was impressed with the change from the bite-sized pieces. "These pieces are so much bigger than what my people are used to, and they don't know how to handle it. I am going to keep giving them these pieces, but they don't know how to handle it."

I knew that Jesus was telling me that people in the body who were getting these large chunks felt like they didn't know what to do with it. It was overwhelming them to the point of almost not doing anything with it (Big Arrow in the air pointing straight as yours truly). Instead of looking at what they were being given and being happy with it (it is like CHOCOLATE, yummy!), they were analyzing the large piece too much.

The vision ended there. It did not give me a happy, satisfied feeling. It left me with a question, "How do we handle it? How do we NOT feel that way? How do we get to where we aren't afraid of the Kingdom?" Okay, it left me with questionS.

I hope I explained all of that okay.

Feel free to repost this. Share it with family and friend, ect. I was told right off the bat that this needs to get out there.

Love to you all!

P.S. A couple days later I was at my friend's helping her clean. That night I watched Chocolat when I saw she had it. It's a movie all about this little chocolate shop. It wasn't until that night when I realized the coincidence (or the NOT coincidence, hee hee).

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Happiness hit me like a train on a track.

Jon and I were just watching some home videos from a few years ago. We both noticed that our family was a lot happier then. We are beaming, glowing, and laughing way more, noticeably so. This made me sad, and we both tried to figure out why this was. I can't think of anything horrific that scarred us to cause such a drop in joy. To try to explain the change Jon and I came up with a few theories. (Keep in mind that even though some things below are stated quite factually, they are still indeed THEORIES).

1. My hair had magical happiness-giving powers. It used to be REALLY, REALLY long. It is naturally a golden color. When my family looked at it, shining and flowing free, their hearts expanded and joy overflowed. When I chopped it off, the magic left.

2. Dad's weight had magical happiness-giving powers. Well...I'm not as sure about this one. But he lost a lot of weight a couple years ago. In the videos he still has the weight and seems happier, as are we. He runs a lot now so he may be hungry all the time. Hunger can equal less joy.

3. We all stopped drinking caffeinated coffee. Jon is especially bummed about this. Caffeinated coffee brought joy to our bodies, souls, and lives.

4. Television. We only got a lot of cool channels with show that we actually like watching several years ago. Before television we were all more active and full of life. Now we live vicariously and don't create our own joy.

5. Laptops/internet/facebook/ect./ect.///. Time-sucker for sure. We started having a lot of interactions on facebook and stopped communicating as much face to face (although we don't do that anymore, but still, if true the damage is already done).

6. We sacrificed joy for comfort and easy-living. Going out and doing stuff is hard and takes energy. We became couch-potatoes and the endorphins stopped flowing.

7. We don't attend concerts together anymore. My family used to patronize all local and nonlocal (mostly the latter) Christian rock concerts. We were famous.

I could go on, because reasons keep pouring into my brain. I hardly see Isaac anymore because he lives in the basement in front of his computer or video games. Geez.

My family is an extremely happy one. We do laugh A LOT. We make others laugh A LOT. We bring joy wherever we go. But...we seemed happier then.

I don't really care why it happened...I just want it back.

Friday, April 8, 2011


Mom brought home 2 cartons of strawberries that were "fixin' to turn" from Nathan's (my older brother who was refusing to eat yummy food). GLORY HALLELUJAH! I was so excited.

First I made an apple pie with cheddar cheese crust. It tasted perty good. Apple pie has never been my favorite, but I was satisfied with the results.

Then I made a strawberry pie! The exclamation point is there for a reason. It is delicious. I even got creative and cut the top crust into stars with a cookie cutter and arranged it all festively. I have never made a strawberry pie before! All last summer God kept saying, "Strawberries, strawberries, strawberries. Make something with strawberries." I never did. But now I know why He said that! This pie was YUMMY! I think the super ripe strawberries were part of the reason. Either way, here is the website for the recipe.

I made both pies with Stevia and was very pleased with the results! My dad commented on a little after taste that, if you catch it, will tell you that there is something different in the pie. But he also said that it didn't bother him, since it isn't a bad after taste. I didn't notice anything after the first couple bites of apple pie. Then I had some strawberry pie a couple hours later and didn't notice it at all.

There is so much more I want to say! I worshiped with Mom tonight (Friday night is our worship night. She turns on the keyboard and we hash it all out). We drifted away from the written lyrics and started singing prophetically. We continued singing whatever came up for a few hours. It was awesome. We went past that place of "okay, I feel the presence of God and have found some peace. Moving on...". We felt so free and goofy (I felt goofy anyway). I wonder what is past THAT place. "Strength to strength" (Psalm 84:7). Like I said, there is more I want to say, but I'm getting up early in the morning. Jon and I are heading to my great Aunt and Uncle's for breakfast. Some of my friends are going's going to be goooood.

much love to you all! (thanks, Tiffany for the link to the Stevia website! That encouraged me all the more to test it out.)

Thursday, April 7, 2011

"You said, 'Don't be an idiot.' Changed my life." - Dwight Shrute

I am going to bed earlier than usual. It is going to be awesome.

I had not had any sugary foods since my last fast. I was still feeling amazing! Last night I watched Chocolat for the first time, and was told that eating chocolate while watching was a must. I happily said, "Okay!" I had been cleaning a house that was not my own all day, and the thought of a reward was sweet.

The house is also home to 2 cats. I like cats, but they usually make me itch, sneeze, ect. I had noticed that I was not bothered by them all day. Then I remembered that I was outside a lot Saturday and the pollen had not bothered me either.

I ate some chocolate and regretted the act almost immediately. I got a headache, my face started itching, and my right eye was itching also. My body then got achy and I thought I was running a fever. I decided that sugar just needed to go. It isn't good for my body anyway, I can do without it. I'm going to start experimenting with sugar substitutes in an apple pie this weekend. Should be delicious.

Home. I was so, so happy to be home. Cleaning out wore me out. I wound down by supervising Mom as she threw out clothes, chatting with a friend (yep, I'm opening up), and watching Hollywood Homicide with Dad (starring Josh Hartnett AND Harrison Ford, thank you very much).

I had this song in my head today as I was cleaning. It took me a couple hours to realize what I was humming. Oh, subconscious of mine, you are quite in tune with my feelings. Gonna go woo the sandman right now...

God gave me something to share with you all! I don't have time to write it out properly right now, but stay tuned.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Smooth and Sassy

One more blog before bed, just to share the song that just popped into my head. :-)

For once in my life I have someone who needs me
Someone I've needed so long
For once, unafraid, I can go where life leads me
And somehow I know I'll be strong

For once I can touch what my heart used to dream of
Long before I knew
Someone warm like you
Would make my dreams come true

For once in my life I won't let sorrow hurt me
Not like it's hurt me before
For once, I have something I know won't desert me
I'm not alone anymore

For once, I can say, this is mine, you can't take it
As long as I know I have love, I can make it
For once in my life, I have someone who needs me

Absence makes the heart grow fonder?

I'm leaving till Thursday night. One of my friends is getting married, and I have offered to help her clean out her house for a yard sale. Her 4 sons will be there, all of whom I haven't seen in almost a decade. It is going to be interesting, but fun.

I'm REALLY going to miss my family. That sounds a little dramatic since it is only for one night, but I love being here and talking to everyone. The great thing about my family is that we don't have to DO anything. We just hang out and be. I love to be.

Jon (my 17 year old brother) and I made fajitas for dinner earlier! We didn't use a recipe, and it turned out DELICIOUS! I am really enjoying this whole cooking thing.

Did I tell you all that God helped me schedule out my days last week? It was very nice. I was quite productive and stayed "in training". When I return from my friend's house I'm going to get back on it (but not before I watch the video Dad showed me again)!

Monday, April 4, 2011


I have always loved thunder/lightning storms. I love the brilliance of it. There is something so beautiful about the scariness of it all. When I let myself sit by the window and watch the raindrops pound the glass and the flashings of light beyond, I don't feel comfortable and safe. Instead I feel vulnerable. And it's that rush of fear that comes from letting myself be vulnerable that I love and hate. I love it because I do it. I hate it because it I'm afraid of doing it in the first place. Why should nature hold such power over me? But I do it, and that is what counts.

Storms are not the only time I feel like this. I get this feeling every time I just think of opening up to friends and every time one of them says "I love you". When I do hear those three words come from one of their lips, I immediately feel the boulder, the one that makes its home in my stomach, and its weight and size. I am not sure when the boulder moved in, but it takes up almost all of the space that is supposed to belong to "I love you". Because of this, all I can do is choke out, "me too", not even sure if I really mean it. With the boulder being so wide, these utterances of love only live on the outer skirts, and are therefore quickly shoved out in a very bossy manner by the boulder.

I am pretty sure the boulder would shove off itself if I only did open up. I would then stop asking myself why my friends love me, because they would actually know me. It has always been a relief when I do open up. Sometimes they can't handle it and leave, and I am always SO happy when they do because the charade is over and I can stop pretending to be someone they like. So really, what do I have to lose? Nothing. What do I have to gain? A friend who I can hear say "I love you" and believe.

This blog went in an entirely different direction than intended, but was it was apparently necessary for me to sort that all out. :) Dad shared this video with me after reading the last blog I wrote. I find it very inspiring.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Dreams of mine, fly away.

I am in training. I didn't realize this until about 20 minutes ago when God told me. I looked up the definition.

Train-verb (used with an object)
to develop or form the habits, thoughts, or behavior of (a child or other person) by discipline and instruction: to train an unruly boy

This is not a pause in my life or me bumming around. This isn't a transition period or a pruning. What I do everyday greatly affects my future. What I do in my future greatly affects others. Other people's lives depend on my daily actions, on this season.

I can't hold back anymore and I can't be selfish with my time anymore. My life is not my own, and that was my decision. I have to leave behind everything that holds me back: Dreams, goals, friends, hobbies, past times.

I can't do what I want when I want. There are a lot of things that I used to dedicate my life to that can not be an option for me.

I can't hold things inside that need to come out so I can't grow in my relationship with Jesus and my relationships with others. I have to let Jesus help me, especially when it is through others. I can't keep pretending that I'm alone and my actions and decisions don't have anything to do with anyone else's life. I can't hole up inside or hide away to take a deep breather. I have to let go.

God is trying (bless Him) to teach me very important things right now. I can't waste time. I don't want to wast time. I don't want to be behind.

I have to let go.

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Feeling good.

I wake up in the best mood these days. I am loving it!

Indian Stew was a success. Prepping for it took me a couple hours, but I'm not sure I can blame all of the chopping (I got a blister from chopping!) and peeling for that. My friend, Dorsey, who is going to a college nearby and is therefore living with my family, was also busy in the kitchen. He was making challah bread. We ended up talking about interesting things, such as Young Victoria (the movie and also the history), teatime and siestas, sign language, baby language, heaven language (what language are we going to speak in heaven? are we just going to understand each other?), what jobs we're going to have in heaven?, is there teatime in heaven?, is the sabbath a teatime?, ect.

He is a linguistics major and is taking a philosophy class, which makes for some interesting conversations that pushes me to think about things I don't usually think about. This was one of the things I loved about my social work classes, so I don't mind, but it definitely slowed both of us down. I was also pulling apart a whole cauliflower plant. I had never encountered such a vegetable in it's whole form, so that took some time. But luckily, dinner was still served by sunset, and it was DELICIOUS! Dorsey's challah also rose beautifully and he was able to make two loaves that came out of the oven twice the size they normally do! He praised the Lord for giving him a double portion.

Dear Dad,
I found an amazing pie recipe website (Pillsbury) last night. Thank you so much for supporting my baking endeavors emotionally and financially. Would you like peach pie first, or an apple pie with cheddar crust?
Love, your favorite daughter

I love you all!

Friday, April 1, 2011


This may look bad to mention it, but I'm not groaning or complaining. I'm merely stating that...fasting has given me a HUGE appreciation for food. REAL food. Not burgers and fries, not lemon cakes with chocolate frosting, but real and wholesome food.

I was planning what I was going to eat when I came off a fast that was my longest. I decided that a cake would be an excellent way to celebrate. As I googled cake recipes and scrolled through website after website of pictures of sugary goodness I realized something. I was feeling sick just looking at the pictures. I suddenly did not want a yummy cake with thick chocolate icing, I wanted to cook!

This is when my dad starts laughing as he is reading, I am sure.

I don't cook. I make an omelet here and there, but I don't cook. I bake.

Until now. Tonight I plan to cook an Indian curry stew. I have never made a stew. I have never attempted anything that had any resemblance to an Indian dish. Wanting to know the reasons behind my sudden craving for wholesome and healthy foods, I examined myself closely. Here is what I discovered.

My brain is working incredibly fast with a new clarity.
I feel sharp and focused.
I have an unusual amount of energy.
My mood is staying surprisingly level.
I suddenly don't wish to watch a show or movie for the purpose of "zoning out" (I do, however, enjoy the occasional show and movie. But I don't feel pulled to it like I did before).

I am almost positive that all of this is linked to my sugar intake, and I don't want to lose this feeling as long as it is up to me.

Not to say that I am swearing off sweets or sugar (or burgers and fries). Oh no! Let it never be! But moderation is the key. I am still looking for a juicy peach pie recipe, and I'm planning to make chocolate chip cookies any day now.