Thursday, March 31, 2011

Judgment in America

God told me this on the morning of 3/25/11. It may sound like "DOOM! DOOM!", but when you read the whole thing you will hopefully find that is actually an uplifting word for the body of Christ.

"Judgment has to come to America. It has to in order for the Kingdom to walk forth boldly, clothed in righteousness. A meltdown of the economy will happen. The government of America will be downshifted and broken in two. This will need to happen to break old covenants with humanity that were made with Satan and his servants. His men must be pulled back from the root. My men have seen them shaved back time and time again, but my men have not seen the root of it. When the root is pulled out they can not return."

I honestly didn't think that I would be sharing this word in a blog. Then last night Mom told me that God had told one of our mutual friends that the economy was going to collapse. This friend feels that it is imminent and could happen as soon as Friday or this weekend. I take this friend very seriously because the oil spill in Louisiana was correctly predicted by this friend. Also, God told this friend, the week before it happened, that something big and disastrous was going to happen the weekend Japan got hit by a tsunami. Since this person is hearing the Lord pretty clearly, I asked God if I should share the similar word He had given me. He said yes. So here I am.

Pray over these words. I love you all!

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Praying for Japan

God told me today that it was time to share this word that He gave me on the morning of March 24, 2011.

"Japan's clock has been running on empty for a while. Pray that they have more time. They need to figure things out. They need to figure out who they want to be. Do they want to fight Me or see Me? I hold them close even in the midst of the temptation and sin. But I have a charge that I have set up against them: That they have refused to see My glory in the saints among their people. They have chosen instead to fast and pray for forgiveness. But if they don't see My glory in the faces of those around them, if they forget that My name is grace, this will be their ultimate destruction. I doubt their kindness to Me when they can't find it in each other. When they refuse to see My face in their crowded places, when they refuse to feed Me there, they are refusing to see My face in the clouds.

I breathe among them and they don't see it. Pray that they see My face among themselves. Pray that they do the same to 'the least of these' that they would do for Me. Their time has run out, but I will increase their time again if the acknowledge this, My face amongst them, in their flesh."

I felt that the reason God wanted me to share this was so we can all be praying for Japan together, and remember these words in our prayers for them. It important that Japan be given more time since God is granting them that mercy.

I love you all!

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Exploding Gratitude!

I had to get one more blog in before I go to bed.

I am FINALLY accepting and loving the friends who God has put me with right now. The amount of love that this acceptance opened up in my heart is ASTOUNDING me! I prayed for a couple months, asking for wisdom about my friends and how to let go of everything that was holding me back from loving them more fully. And suddenly, within the blink of an eye, I saw it. I SAW just a smidgen of the love Jesus had for them, and my brain did it's classic "Whoa." I was too full of judgments and, sometimes, such a strange guilt that I couldn't see this clearly. Now I do, and I am beginning to understand what it means to "friend". I think "friend" is a verb as much as it is a noun. I also think I will be perfecting my friending till the day I die. Blogs similar to this may therefore follow, as I know they have preceded.

Also, since I had the dream about the bridegroom coming back soon and therefore needing to be connected to the older generation, I have done what I can to do just that. I've started consciously naming older women, who I have known for some years now, friends. I should have already started calling them friends. I've certainly had enough conversations with them and hung out with them a lot. But now I'm consciously making this effort, and it has been most gratifying. There is so much wisdom to be shared! There is so much to give and receive from each other! What held me back? Prejudice? Time? Selfishness? Complacency? Whatever it was, it is GONE (she proclaimed boldly to the world)!

I made friends with one of my parents' pastors, Ron, when he came into town this past weekend. I apparently had not seen him since I was a baby, since he has pastored my parents long ago. He is wonderful! We had already been praying for each other and giving each other words over email and snail mail. Now we met and talked and prayed for each other face to face. I called him tonight and was overwhelmed by the amount of respect I felt coming through the other line. He was asking my opinions and thoughts about things (some things I had not even thought about, which was a welcome challenge for me) and encouraging me in needed areas. He gave me such great advice about journaling and recording what God tells me, things that I realized would benefit me greatly. I'll stop here, but I could definitely brag on him a while longer.

This song came on one of Dad's mix cds (I found several abandoned ones in a kitchen drawer the other day. my dad has such awesome taste in music and a talent for putting mixes together) and I repeated it quite a few times, singing along and dancing around my room as I cleaned. I was exploding with gratitude to Jesus for putting these amazing, wise people in my life right when I came to terms with the fact that I needed them there.

This weekend I get to hang with my younger friends, and it is going to be such a blessing . I can feel it in my singing bones. :)

Vision of leaders

God has been on to me all day to write this blog. This is a vision I had a couple years ago...or so. I don't really remember. It was during a period when I was really bad about writing things down.

I see a man's face as he leads the charge in a battle. He is wearing armor and holding a sword. I know that he is a general, or something of similar authority, in a war. I notice the anger and passion that is on his face. I pull away from his face and see that I'm looking at a tall pot that has this man on it. It's similar to looking in a crystal ball, because I see this man's actions. I pull away even further and see that there are many pots. All of the pots are men of high position, power and authority throughout the world and throughout history (I don't know who they were though. I could tell some were from history because of their garments). There are kings, leaders of armies, emperors, ect. All of the men are so angry as they carry out different actions for their positions. Some are fighting battles, some are giving speeches, and some are yelling orders at those serving them directly. These pots were all sitting on shallow stairs in a pattern of some sort.

I then see Jesus sitting cross-legged in the center of the pots, his head buried in his hands. He is naked and weeping like I have not seen him weeping before. The wretched loneliness that he is feeling is very apparent. I know that the men on the pots are what is distressing him, but I don't understand why their impact is so heavy on him. I ask, "What is this?" I hear, "It is I who placed every one of these men in their positions of leadership. Not one of them turn to me, even though I am the one who gave them their power."

I know that Jesus knew that these men would not turn to him, but he gave them the opportunity to serve him greatly anyway. Now he wept for them and for what has been and is being lost by their selfishness; cities, countries, nations, but most importantly, a relationship with these men.

This vision changed my perspective of the world greatly. I realized I did not understand as much about leaders as I thought, and that judging by face value was not going to tell me what was really going on. There is so much going on behind the scenes that I do not see! There is so much about justice that I do not understand. I think that the most important thing Jesus showed me through the vision was the importance of praying for leaders around the globe, and joining Jesus in grieving and longing for them to join his plan for their lives and the lives of their (his) people.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Let me know You no matter the cost. Let me be afraid of saying no to You.

Open up, You wild one.
Let me know more than Your name.
Take out the judgments;
let me know You feel the same way.

How many times have You been to this place?
So much of Your smile makes me feel like a new way
was chiseled away; concrete walls into dust.
I know I must give it away, I say,
if I plan to keep this sunny day.

Didn't know where I was going till You got in my way.
Thank God for these mistakes.
All I could feel day after sleepless day
was a love that had been slapped away.

Give it away, I say,
if I plan to keep this sunny day, I know I must
give it away today, so that I can receive tomorrow
all the things that fill me when I'm empty.

Give it away.
Have faith in change.

Praise the Lord! Praise Him!

I'm going to intercession meetings once a week that were started by my friend, Josiah. Last night God said, "Tomorrow you need to call Josiah and tell him that you aren't supposed to be involved in what he is going to be doing. You can still go to the intercession meetings though. This is what you should say to him...."

Today I talked to him and told him what God had told me. Josiah said, "Well, that's funny, because I was actually going to call you later today because I'm trying to get a team together to go down to this church that is [a ways away] and minister there. I was going to ask if you wanted to be a part of it."

God gave me my answer before Josiah had even told me about this trip and had asked me to come. He is so faithful! This is just further confirmation that I will never miss out as long as I keep my eyes on Jesus.

Last night I crawled in bed after an wonderful, but exhausting day, of praying with Mom and old friends. I had not been in bed long when I started thinking about the recent and old promises God has given me about traveling. I thought, "Just because some of the promises were given to me years ago does not mean they will not come to pass." God then said, "Get up and give me gratitude!" I knew that God was telling me to go ahead and thank Him for what He has yet to do, but is going to do, in my life. I was to thank Him for the promises that were sure to be kept. Suddenly wide awake, I got up and thanked God over and over for what He is doing in my future that I can't even see yet.

The promises He has made to us are real, no matter the time they were given. He is faithful to the end and has perfect timing. He knows the plan He has for us. We don't have to be afraid.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

"You too, be ready; for the Son of Man is coming at an hour that you do not expect."

Luke 12:40

I write this because I believe what is given to me will also be given to you. As the Bride we are all connected through Jesus Christ.

Thursday I was driving around when I heard God say, "You are not carrying the burdens you've been given."

I knew that God was referring to the conversation we'd had Tuesday morning. It had been 2 days and I had not once taken the time to wait and listen to what God was saying, intercede, or learn more about fasting. I knew that this was because I kept doing other things, thinking that they were more important. I kept seeing people around me with jobs and physical tasks and thought that I should be doing the same, even though every time I asked God about this I only heard, "Wait. Just wait. You aren't missing your destiny."

I talked through this with Mom Friday night. I then realized that my current job IS praying and fasting. This is what Christ has given me to do. This is what I will do.

Last night I was thinking about a wonderful friend of mine and suddenly I thought, "Maybe I'm loving her too much." I am having to work right now at being open to the friendships that Jesus has provided for me right now. Sometimes they seem too good to be true, and I've been hurt multiple times, so I tend to expect the worse and put up walls to protect myself. Not wanting to shut out what God was giving me, but not quite sure if this friend was from him, I asked, "God, am I loving her too much?" He said, "No. You're not loving her enough."

This not only freed me to open myself up more to my friend, it also made me think of other friends in my life, family, and my enemies. I thought, "If I'm not loving the person, who I already love so much, enough, than the love I have for a lot of other people must be much smaller than it should be. I can't even seem to take the time to pray for my enemies!"

I remembered the vision I recorded here in the blog "I am the same as this man, my enemy" last September. I have greatly neglected praying for my enemies and loving them the same as myself and my friends. I feel that this is also part of the "burden" that God rebuked me for not carrying. There is much to do and little time to do it if I delay further.

"Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and You will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

So long, and thanks for all the fish.

Yesterday Mom told me about a 600 pound dolphin that jumped into someone's boat (a lot of sea animals are dying lately for no apparent reason, so the dolphin seemed to be saying, "Get me out of here!" I reminded me of Douglas Adam's Hitchhiker's Guide trilogy). Then before bed I was reading the ordinances in Exodus. When I fell asleep I had a dream in which I knew a talking dolphin, and he disobeyed an ordinance. Because of this he had to die. I haven't had a crazy dream like that in a while.

Yesterday morning, as I was waking up, I was talking to God about praying for people. I had heard that it was important that we ask God for people in our prayers. If the devil asked God for Job to be sifted like wheat and God let him, how much more will God say yes to us when we ask for people?

So as we were talking about this, God said, "Would you be willing to fast for some of these people? You won't need to fast for everyone, but I will tell you who needs it and who doesn't." I could feel the seriousness of God's question. I asked, "What changes would I have to make to my diet so I could fast wisely?" God answered, "You shouldn't bake a big pan of brownies right before you fast, and you would have to stop drinking soda." Ugh, two of my favorite things.

I went downstairs to talk to Mom about fasting to see what she knew. I told her that I felt like I should always be ready to fast when God tells me, and asked what needed to change. She confirmed what God has told me. "You should probably stop eating fine sugar and drinking caffeinated drinks. It makes you feel sick sometimes when you fast because your body is detoxing and it purges all of the sugar and caffeine."

She gave me a couple of her books on fasting to look through, so I'm gonna study up!

A brother-sister duo from Australia. These two are helping me develop a taste for folk.

Friday, March 11, 2011

You will pay for your Insolence!

Here is a short blog. Just for you, Dad. Just for you. ;-)
Ever since I've had the dream about the Bridegroom coming to meet the Bride (see previous post), I have not been sleeping so well. I've never had this problem before for so many nights in a row. I'm not sleeping during the day because I want to be tired enough so I sleep at night, so I am exhausted by 10 or 11, but only sleep for 2-3 hours. I'm not really complaining though, because I believe that this is happening because the Bride needs to WAKE UP ALREADY AND GET HER GROOVE ON! Or get ready to get her groove on. Yep, my filter is long gone to try to be appropriate. But that is okay.

During my new waking hours I am blogging, praying, and trooping through Exodus. It's a nice troop to be trooping. A very good book indeed. I'm also doing other random things, but I'll save that for another post. Don't want this one to get too...boring....

(I made this for you.)

Dream about the Bridegroom coming to meet the Bride.

I had this dream last Wednesday, 3/02/11.

I get married to a man. He leaves before we have sex because he has to make sure a lot of things happen beforehand. He is gone for months, and I'm at my parents', waiting.

One evening, Dad and Mom approach me and Dad says, "Your husband is coming tomorrow and you'll both have sex for the first time. I'm leaving tomorrow to get him and bring him back." I know that my husband is at Dad's workplace, and that is where Dad will pick him up. Dad continues, "The neighbors will come over and make dinner for the two of you. Your mom and I will leave for the night so you two can have the place to yourself. Mom will help you put the bed together in the basement tomorrow."

Dad is happy for me, and it is then that I realize that I am heppy as well. I'm not at all scared or uncomfortable, and know that this is because my husband is the right man.

Dad turns and walks away, and I slowly make my way to the basement with Mom. I realize that I have to prepare my body for my husband, and know that I can't do it on my own and need Mom's help. I think, I'll get her to help me tomorrow after we set up the bed.

Mom and I both fall asleep on a couch in the basement, her on one side and I on the other with our legs in the middle. I wake up and remember today is THE day. I try to wake Mom up and think, we need to set up the bed and Mom still has to help me get my body ready. Our legs are connected, so I can not get up unless she gets up, and I can't get ready by myself. I keep putting my head back down though and forgetting, staying in a half-asleep state. Mom is even worse than me. I sit up several times and try to wake her up and myself up. I suddenly remember something else that I need to be ready for my husband that I need Mom's help getting. I think, I need to make a list so we won't forget what all we have to do. But I keep forgetting. There is a dog that belongs to my husband and I. He is sitting by a mattress and tiny pillow, the bedding that is waiting for Mom and I to put on the bed that isn't built yet. He is watching me intently and starts whimpering, wanting me to get up.

I finally remember what day it is long enough to reach over and pick up my phone to see what time it is. I am astonished and dismayed to see that it is 5:26 in the afternoon. I say this out loud to Mom, and my dog suddenly runs over and starts jumping up against me, whimpering more intensely, trying to get me to get off the couch. I ask Mom, "What time is Dad bring my husband? 8:30?" Mom shakes her head. "No."

"...Are they getting here later?"


"What time are they getting here then?"


Oh Crap. "Mom we need to get up! What is going on? How did we sleep in so late? The neighbors aren't even here yet preparing the dinner. The bed isn't even put together! We are not going to be ready in time!"

Then I woke up. It was 2:30 in the morning and I rolled over thinking, that was a weird dream. My dad was talking to me about having sex with my husband. So odd. Then God spoke to my spirit, "That dream was about getting ready for the bridegroom and you need to think about it." My eyes shot open. I didn't know what to do with myself because I suddenly had the same panicked "Oh Crap" feeling that I had in the dream. Then, out of no where, a very old fear crept onto me. It was an extremely demonic fear that I struggled with during my childhood. I hadn't felt it's presence in years. I asked God why it was here and he said, "Fear is what is keeping the Bride from getting ready." I started proclaiming Jesus is my protector and it fled. I then immediately got sleepy and didn't want to stay awake, but I now had the fear of the Lord to be awake, and I went downstairs to pray.

Mom came downstairs shy of 5 minutes later. She was surprised when she saw me and said, "God woke me up and said 'Get ready for the Bridegroom'. I didn't want to get up, but I heard the verse from Song of Solomon about the bride in bed not wanting to get her feet dirty and the groom peering through the window curtains.... So why are you awake?" I told her my dream.

She agreed with what I was already feeling. My dream is about how the younger generation CAN NOT get ready for the Bridegroom without the help of the older generation. We can not be ready in time unless we both get up and help each other. As a body, we are one and need each other. The youth of the church can not do it alone.

The hour is also later than we know, and Jesus is returning sooner than we think. As a body, we all need to repent of any pride or misconceptions we've had about those older or younger than us (I repented that morning with Mom). We can not afford to waste time holding onto grudges or wrong ideas! We do not have the time to waste! The hour is swiftly approaching and there is only ONE way to be ready for it. Together.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Christ's heart, my home.

This is the song I woke up in the middle of the night hearing. I woke up and heard the clanging of bells that begins the song and thought, "What am I hearing? What is that?" I then heard the piano that follows the bells and it slowly came to me what the song was. I haven't listened to it in months and know that it is Jesus encouraging me to keep giving him everything so I can live in his heart.

Dream about God being in the way.

Part of a dream I had Tuesday morning, 4/08/11.

I sit down up against a wall on the side of a church auditorium. The church program is beginning. The girl I sat beside leans over and says, "You shouldn't be here. They have stopped letting people sit down because there is no room. The people have to wait outside." I was taken aback by the girl's rudeness and didn't know how to respond. God then walked up and sat in an empty chair right in between the girl's view of the front of the room. He turned and firmly said to her, "Leave her alone. If she is a problem I will ask her to leave before the service starts." He said this in a way that was clearly saying, "Jenny is not anyone's concern but mine." The girl was silent, but she did cross her legs Indian style and rest her knee on my leg. I didn't know why she did this since she didn't know me, and thought it was rude. I fumed silently.

Even though God had stood up for me, I was confused by his behavior. He was a very tall man with a long torso, and by sitting where he did he was blocking the girl's view, as well as those behind him, of the church program. I thought that he may not realize this and reached my hand over to nudge his knee. "Hey. You probably shouldn't sit here because you're blocking the front and people can't see around you." I could tell that what I said had annoyed God for he furrowed his brow and he sat up even taller, to his full height, crossing his arms in front of his chest. I did not understand this and thought that he was being rude, but I knew that God was not rude. I still thought he should sit in the back of the room. The girl beside me was trying to look around him, but didn't want to be so obvious that God would notice she was trying to see the front. I looked towards the front and started watching the program.

When I woke up and thought about the dream I did not like how the girl and I were so rude to each other. Even though the girl was rude to me first, my body language afterwards was quite passive. I also did not understand God's behavior and why he seemed to not care he was in the way. I asked God what it meant and all he said was, "The dream was you talking to me about how you felt."

I told my mom the dream shortly after I woke up, and it was then that I began to understand. As I told her that God had been so big he was blocking the view of the program I realized the point. GOD was sitting right beside the girl and I, yet we were still wanting to watch the church program. Instead of realizing that if the point of going to church at all was to focus on God, we had our focus on "the program". We were completely missing that God was in the midst of us, but instead telling him, or thinking, that he was in the way and should move to the back.

I also feel that how the girl and I interacted with each other was another picture of the church today. If we were part of the same body why weren't we nice to each other? Why did we only see each other as in the way and only concerned for our personal space?

If we are the body and the bride why don't we look like one? Why don't we treat each other like we belong together?

I know that when God me, "The dream was you talking to me about how you felt", he was letting me know that he was listening to me and heard me. I didn't like everything I was saying, because I realized that I treat myself like I was treating God. I walk into a lot of rooms and feel like what God is saying to me will only burst the bubbles of those around me, and I am inclined to keep my mouth shut so everyone can keep on making their own agendas fit their idea of God. I feel like I am in the way of what people are trying to do, "the program", and decide that it would be rude of me to not just pay attention and that I would only be judging them. I then sit nicely on the side or in the back, and even then I am sometimes told I am still in the way.

But why am I concerned about these things? After having this dream I realize that accepting the discernment God gives me about what is going on is not the same as passing judgments. It's accepting a truth for what it is. It's letting God share his pain in what is going on and that he is being ignored by the church. It's painful and it's hard, but I'm realizing more and more that I would much rather know and have the amazing opportunity to grow in intimacy with the Lord by sharing in the pain of his heart than be blind to it.

"When you come to appear before Me, who requires of you this trampling of courts? Bring your worthless offerings no longer, incense is an abomination to Me. New moon and sabbath, the calling of assemblies - I cannot endure iniquity and the solemn assembly. I hate your new moon festivals and your appointed feasts, they have become a burden to Me; I am weary of bearing them." Isaiah 1:12-14