Monday, February 8, 2010

No Puppets

No, I'm not afraid of puppets.

Last night, I had a revelation about how I sometimes view the relationship between God and I. I was with some friends and we started worshiping. Nick was singing a song I had never heard before, and one of the lines was "You hold my heart in Your hand", or something similar.

All of these emotions suddenly came crashing to the surface, and I immediately started crying. God said, "I hold your heart and I am not going to give it away easily. I'm not going to give you to just anybody. You are not my puppet, and I am not a puppeteer. You are not one of my experiments, I have not put you in a test tube. I have made you beautiful for a reason, and I take delight in your beauty."

I had not realized that I had been feeling like a puppet. But God knew, and He set me straight and is healing my heart on the matter. I won't go into what made me start thinking this, but I will say this.

You and God are in a RELATIONSHIP. We are allowed to make choices, we are allowed make mistakes, and He is not going to try to control us at any point in our lives. He is highly aware of how we feel about every single part of our life, and He cherishes those feelings. He is also aware of our desires, and put those desires there Himself! We are fearfully and wonderfully made, every single part.

God is going to sometimes ask us to do things that we don't want to do. But I don't believe that it's going to be things that go against the very core of who we are, who He has made us to be. Because in the end, who are we? We are lights in this world, we are important, we are significant, and God is not going to dumb us down ever. He raises us up. Every time I do something that He asked me to do that I didn't want to do, after I do it, I always feel even closer to myself, to who He has created me to be.

About me being beautiful, well, it's true. ;-) It's true for you too. And there is no shame in that, or pride for that matter. It's a fact, and it didn't happen by accident.

I'm in my room right now, after a busy weekend of being with friends and family. This will always be my favorite place to be, because God brings me such clarity when it's just us, one on one.

When I want to run away,
I drive off in my car.

But whichever way I go,
I come back to the place You are.

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