Sunday, June 12, 2011

Georgia on my mind

I decided last night to stay in Georgia for school. It isn't just finances, and it isn't just about getting school done sooner, although those two things do come into play. Here is part of what happened.

It was 3 in the morning. I wanted to be distracted from my thoughts that were keeping me awake, and turned on the television. Charles Stanley was preaching. He was talking about seizing opportunities, and realizing that life is not meant to be easy. Opportunities are sometimes also challenges, but that does not mean that we stop and give up just because it gets hard. God gives everyone opportunities everyday that we don't see, because it means overcoming obstacles. Then we miss it.

I saw then that my future isn't set in stone, and I am faced with many choices. There was no right or wrong, but there was a choice. Did I want to go to college out of state, search for a community to be a part of, take life slow, and get my degree later in life? Or did I want to stay in Georgia, be near my family and others I have grown to love, and accept that, although hard, and sometimes lonely, it would be so worth it.

I decided to stay in Georgia in that moment. Amazing how I've been struggling with these thoughts, and in just 5 minutes, God used Charles Stanley to show me that the choice was always easy to make. I just had to know exactly what I wanted.

I fell asleep an hour later, and had the best dream. Once again, I was helping a bride get ready for her wedding. But this time, the bride was a future me, and I was so happy. I woke up knowing that I had finally chosen what I truly wanted, and that I would continue making good choices.

By staying, I am not missing out on life. Life is where I'm standing. I'm not good at living here, but I can't leave. Not yet.

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