I had this vision that had so much conviction in it from God that I immediately set it down, thinking, "That is heavy! I'll have to look at that later when I can let God deal with my judgmental habits."
God, being all wise and knowing, full of perfect timing, provided this opportunity to "look at that later" when I was reading in John about loving your enemies. This immediately reminded me of the vision, which I immediately set down AGAIN! I did write beside the verses about loving your enemies, "meditate on this". But still, it's time to meditate NOW! God had me tell the vision to a friend today and I could still feel the conviction in it and thought, "Wow, I need to take this conviction to heart and let it sink in and root out all that does not belong in my spirit. I feel like I'm calling the kettle black telling her this vision when I haven't even looked at it myself."
So here I am, because you too can now receive the chance to be convicted if you so choose. Join me, won't you? ;-)
This vision was a couple months ago, btw. Here it is.
God shows me a terrorist. Even though I've never seen him before, I know this man. He is a devout Muslim who has been terrorizing me. In fact, he is in the act of planning another terrorist attack against me when the vision begins. I am witnessing how this man has made it his purpose in life to torture me. When he is done with his work and planning for the day, he moves to his bed and kneels beside it. This is when I notice he is wearing white and the room and bed is white. He says his prayers. As he says his prayers, God starts speaking to me. He says, "You are to speak blessings over this man. You are to love him and I want you to pray for this man as if he were your best friend."
"You want me to do what now?!"
Oh how my spirit objects even now to this instruction. I've heard of praying for your enemies. I've heard of loving them. But...loving him, the one who is torturing me and planning to KILL ME, as if he were my best friend! God saying this to me opened my eyes to what "loving your enemies" really means.
During the vision, God was showing me how this man was no different than me. He ends his day in prayer, not to the same God, but his priorities are to the one he worships. He honestly believes he is doing right! I even saw how he did not appear evil at all. He was an ordinary man who just happened to terrorize for a living. He was fully capable of loving his god and doing anything for him, and that was what he was doing.
So I actually see where God is going with this. What if this man's heart was turned to God? What great zeal and passion would be awoken for the Kingdom of God! What love would be stirred!
Okay, I'll visit that again later. I want to continue by talking about what God was showing me tonight.
When I arrived at IHOP, I immediately felt Jesus draw me into myself toward Him. Because of this, I stayed in my seat for most of worship, watching and waiting to see what He would show me. It began when the leaders came on stage to share. The first one stood up and Jesus spoke. "He is only a boy." I looked at the leader as Jesus opened my eyes and showed me how he only spoke what God gave him and he was only on stage because God brought him there. Jesus did the same thing with the next leader who shared. I pulled them both down from the pedestal I had unknowingly put them on in my heart.
Jesus then told me that most of the time, I am only nice to people and love on them because I want them to love me. He revealed the selfish motives that I had in my heart. He said, "You will only care about MY love for you!" He is having me start pulling people in general off of the pedestal I have put them on in my heart. He told me that this is a process and that He is teaching me what humbleness really is.
So I saw the theme of all three of these things being this, We are all nothing without God. I am no better than that terrorist God showed me. If anything, I'm worse because I KNOW God and I was judging him all the same. The leaders at IHOP are in the same boat as me, seeking God and leaning on His love. They and I are nothing by ourselves.
He then showed me how I am nothing without His love. Seeking love and approval from others is not satisfying my heart and never will.
And do you know what I experienced when I realized that I am nothing without God and that the approval of man means NOTHING!!!!!!!??????????? New and deeper levels of freedom! Not only that, I experienced new and deeper levels of unity with God's people. I was able to start laying down my expectations I put on others' treatment of me and replace it with a deeper focus on God. This released pressure from everyone around me that I was unknowingly putting on them! I could seek God with abandon and enjoy His pleasure with me and welcome others' to join me in this!
It is so good to be free. It is so good to be a daughter. It is so good to be corrected by the One who knows me through and through and does not condemn me.
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