Thursday, October 8, 2009

not enough fruit

I have been trying to organize my life lately. Organize my room (which is harder than it sounds, since one must first clean before one can organize), organize my schoolwork, organize my spiritual life, organize time with friends (which just means actually making time for them), organize my own time, organize, organize, organize.

My friend, Jessica, gave me a little personal organizer, which has been helping me keep track of homework, classwork, ect. But I am discovering something as I straighten out my life. The more I organize, the more I find parts of my life are disorganized or ignored. The more I try to pay more attention to one part of my life, the more other parts get neglected.

Tonight, I was picturing different parts of my life like a tree. Each branch of my life (Jesus, friends, family, school, church, ect) should produce fruit. But I am seeing some branches get sorely neglected, and they aren't producing fruit at all. I wish I could cut off a couple branches so that way there would be more time to dedicate to other parts, so that way more fruit could grow...

But I can't do that, so I guess I'll just try harder, and hopefully things will start to fall into place. Then, I'll actually begin to see some fruit from my labors.

Jesus has given me two dreams over the past couple weeks in which He has given me a glimpse into the next season of my life. It has to do with soaking, resting and leaving certain branches of my life to dedicate more time to that. And as I'm writing this, I'm beginning to wonder if maybe what I've been feeling lately, tired and stretched a little thin, has to do with this next season. I definitely don't soak enough. I know this, and I've been trying to do that more, because that is how we're supposed to replenish. It's the only way to not run dry. And I WANT to soak/spend time with Jesus. I want to overflow and not feel run down and go through periods of just being emotionally exhausted.

Looking at my life more closely and getting my priorities straight is definitely in order.

and I also have to remember not to keep trying to do it on my own, because the only way I can keep going on is by doing it with Jesus.

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