Thursday, March 24, 2011

Exploding Gratitude!

I had to get one more blog in before I go to bed.

I am FINALLY accepting and loving the friends who God has put me with right now. The amount of love that this acceptance opened up in my heart is ASTOUNDING me! I prayed for a couple months, asking for wisdom about my friends and how to let go of everything that was holding me back from loving them more fully. And suddenly, within the blink of an eye, I saw it. I SAW just a smidgen of the love Jesus had for them, and my brain did it's classic "Whoa." I was too full of judgments and, sometimes, such a strange guilt that I couldn't see this clearly. Now I do, and I am beginning to understand what it means to "friend". I think "friend" is a verb as much as it is a noun. I also think I will be perfecting my friending till the day I die. Blogs similar to this may therefore follow, as I know they have preceded.

Also, since I had the dream about the bridegroom coming back soon and therefore needing to be connected to the older generation, I have done what I can to do just that. I've started consciously naming older women, who I have known for some years now, friends. I should have already started calling them friends. I've certainly had enough conversations with them and hung out with them a lot. But now I'm consciously making this effort, and it has been most gratifying. There is so much wisdom to be shared! There is so much to give and receive from each other! What held me back? Prejudice? Time? Selfishness? Complacency? Whatever it was, it is GONE (she proclaimed boldly to the world)!

I made friends with one of my parents' pastors, Ron, when he came into town this past weekend. I apparently had not seen him since I was a baby, since he has pastored my parents long ago. He is wonderful! We had already been praying for each other and giving each other words over email and snail mail. Now we met and talked and prayed for each other face to face. I called him tonight and was overwhelmed by the amount of respect I felt coming through the other line. He was asking my opinions and thoughts about things (some things I had not even thought about, which was a welcome challenge for me) and encouraging me in needed areas. He gave me such great advice about journaling and recording what God tells me, things that I realized would benefit me greatly. I'll stop here, but I could definitely brag on him a while longer.

This song came on one of Dad's mix cds (I found several abandoned ones in a kitchen drawer the other day. my dad has such awesome taste in music and a talent for putting mixes together) and I repeated it quite a few times, singing along and dancing around my room as I cleaned. I was exploding with gratitude to Jesus for putting these amazing, wise people in my life right when I came to terms with the fact that I needed them there.

This weekend I get to hang with my younger friends, and it is going to be such a blessing . I can feel it in my singing bones. :)

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