I love being busy. It drives me to keep moving, and to stay positive. I'm working 4 hours tomorrow when I wasn't working at all. Feels good to be making more money than I was going to this week.
I notice that I have no idea what my future holds, but whenever I stop living in the now, I stop moving forward almost completely. Then my future never seems to come. So I'm happy to be living so hard right now, because I know that it will scurry my future closer, whatever it holds.
There isn't any time to just BE lately, which is probably my only complaint. After I did homework today, I only had time to shower and dress before running out the door to work. As I was getting ready, I thought about how I have been spending my downtime. Now that I have next to no downtime, it makes me see how much I have wasted it in the past. Why do I go to watch a show or movie almost every time I have a spare moment? I could be spending time with people, like FAMILY or talking to friends. I look back over the past months, and see once more how self-absorbed I am. WHY don't I want to talk to people? WHAT is wrong with me? I have been BLIND to those around me and so close to me.
I did surprise myself when I was suddenly aware that one of the women at the check-out needed to be spoken to. As I rang up her stuff, I asked her how her day was. She had been looking exhausted, but perked up as we started talking about how neither of us knew what Statistics even was, though we still had to take it. She walked away still tire, but obviously happy that she had been heard. I used to strive to hear people all the time, but God had me stop when He showed me that I was constantly trying to have the answer to everyone's problem. He said that I had to wait for His nudge, and not just help people because I could. I didn't realize I was being stretched so thin until I stopped. So I think when I did stop, I had to go to the extreme of practically not hearing anyone at all.
But God nudged me tonight with that lady, and I think He is about to nudge me further into interacting with others more.
Well, I still don't have time to spend with them right now anyway, but I'll hold onto this nugget so I can remember it when I do have time.
Yep, most of the time just listening, really listening, to someone makes them feel better. It's a rare gift to listen without trying to solve the problem. Good job.
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