Thursday, July 1, 2010

Personal Revelations

I don't have the time or energy right now to talk about what I wanted to talk about. But that's fine I suppose. You'll all hear about it when you're supposed to ;-)

I have cast aside my selfish expectations for the future, realizing that the future, not to mention the present is ALL about Jesus. I didn't really realize that my expectations were selfish, but then I realized that I was making it all about me. I could delve into it a lot more, but I believe that this is something that requires a divine personal revelation. It's something that I've heard all my life, I even sang that song in church "It's all about Jesus, it's all about Jesus..." over and over. But it was just head knowledge, and never transferred to the heart.

I actually believe that goes for everything. That everything we learn needs to be learned over again in a personal way so that it gets planted and firmly rooted in our heart. Or maybe it was planted but just hadn't started growing yet until we had the revelation.

Anyway, personal revelations are hard. They have required me to die to my flesh over and over again. It usually starts with me being hurt or upset about something, maybe disappointed with God even. So I finally cry out and am honest about how I feel. And then WHAM! God hits me over the top of the head and knocks what is in there down into my spirit. And I realize how wrong I've been and grab onto this new wisdom like it's a rope hanging from a helicopter hovering over a sea of sharks.

So I'm learning, always learning. Always growing. Always dying. Always living.

Sometimes, the last thing you want comes in first,
Sometimes, the first thing you want never comes,
And I know, the waiting is all you can do,

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