Sunday, September 4, 2011
Dream: The king and his two wives
I had a dream during my nap today. It seems to be a response from God to my previous blog.
It started with me trying to do many everyday things, and finding them all hard for me to accomplish. I would drive somewhere, try to do something, and not be able to do it right. I was very frustrated, and in a bad mood for most of the dream.
I met a king and his beautiful wife in an old, abandoned hotel. I knew that they were dead, and I was seeing ghosts. I would see other ghosts too, some not even human. No one else who was alive could see them. I was not only frustrated now, but angry that I could see the ghosts. I was angry because I knew that it was not normal for me to be having conversations with dead people. I kept trying to leave them, but I would find myself back in the hotel, in their presence soon after trying to get away. It felt like a nightmare.
The wife started approaching me alone and reaching out tenderly, putting her hand on my collarbone and moving it up my neck. It freaked me out, because I did not know this woman. A voice, that sounded like the king's, said to me, "This is how pregnant women respond around other pregnant women." I became angry and thought, I am not pregnant, and I don't believe she is either! The wife looked hurt, and I tried to leave her. The king approached me swiftly and ordered, "You need to stay away from my wives. People who are alive should not be near them." It was not my wish to be near his wives in the first place, and I tried to leave once more.
Another beautiful woman soon approached me. I saw she was pregnant, but her pregnancy made me extremely uncomfortable. I am not pregnant! She can't be either! But she reached out and touched my shoulder, even as I cowered away. She pulled a shawl, that I had not noticed I was wearing, back onto my shoulder where it had almost fallen. I ran away, knowing that this gesture was only meant to be from one pregnant woman to another. I was not going to see that she was pregnant, and that I, therefore, must also be pregnant, so I decided to see the situation as being perverted. "I will tell the king your secret, that you like women!" I yelled as I left the room, for I knew that the king was also this woman's husband. Pain filled her eyes, her hand frozen in the air from where she had placed it on my shoulder. I turned away.
I picked up my shirt and studied my belly. I refused to see that it was looking a little swollen. I am not in an early pregnancy! I am not the king's wife! I pulled my shirt back down and tried leaving the hotel in my car to resume doing the things that I could not master.
I found myself outside of the hotel once more. There were two ghosts who were stuck in a sort of warp between being alive and dead. I knew that they needed to fly, but they did not know how. "I know how," I said. "I will teach you." It made me angry that I knew how to fly. People who were alive did not how to fly, so why did I? But there was no one else to teach the ghosts, and there was something in me that wanted to help them.
We went to the roof of the hotel and I jumped off. I flew easily, and this also made me angry. I hoped no one would see me. I turned and shouted at the ghosts, "You try!" One jumped and soon flew easily. The other followed, but fell into the pool that was outside the hotel. I flew into the pool, and encouraged it to surface before it made contact with the bottom of the pool. It resurfaced, and the ghosts flew off, happy to not be stuck anymore
I saw the king and his two wives I had met had been watching this scene unfold from the roof. I flew up to them, and the king spoke kindly. "I did not yet know that you were dead. My wives said you were, but you kept doing things that alive people do. When I saw you flying I knew it was true you were dead. That's why it's been hard for you to do those things. People who are alive do those things, but you're already dead."
In a flash my anger began to leave me as I realized that I had been dead for quite some time, and trying to be as one who is alive. The king continued his speech. "Welcome to Narnia!" He exclaimed. And I was being lifted onto a throne surrounded by white light by the king. The two wives knelt on either side of him as he set a crown that appeared to be too big on my head. "You will always be a ruler here," He stated with authority and finality. I had a feeling that this welcome and coronation was belated, since I had been living as one who is alive, even though I had been in Narnia, and just as dead as the king, his wives, and the rest of the ghosts.
The light that surrounded the throne swirled and enveloped me, and I was again sucked up and out of my dream.
As I struggled to open my eyes and leave my heavy sleep, I heard the king give these instructions. "You need to wake up. You can't sleep just because others do. Don't go anywhere. You need to stay in your house for a little while. When you do leave never leave the house in your car anymore. You must fly everywhere you go. People won't like to see you fly, but you must anyway."
When I was finally able to open my eyes (I had quickly fallen back asleep after this dream), I was soaking wet with sweat from head to toe. What had been a stressful nightmare for so long had ended on a surprisingly high note. I had been empowered to fly...whatever that means (I do NOT know what that means).
Let me know if you know what that means before I know what that means. Eh, You are still confusing me, God, even with the dreams.